Death Dealers

A kind of reader draws our attention to an internet site which extols the virtue of the privatized post-mortem examination industry. The site is run by a company called 1-800-autopsy based in Los Angeles (where else).

It explains: "A significant part of 1-800-autopsy's mission is to broaden society's perspective about the 'positive side of death' with respect to transplantable tissue, cadaver-tissue research, and whole body donations. With radical innovations emerging in new less invasive, delicate surgical procedures and rigorous testing techniques in research there is a critical shortage and constant demand for fresh cadavers, which lowers the availability to medical schools."

Shades of Burke and Hare you might have thought, but no. Their motives are noble: "We believe, and state in our motto, mortuis paresdium et vocem dare necessee est (sic), the deceased must be protected and given a voice. By seeking the truth through medical investigation, we fulfill that goal by allowing otherwise hidden information to come to light, even though the deceased can no longer speak for themselves. The ability to uncover such information through autopsy procedures should be available to all that need it; there are no ethnic, financial, religious or cultural barriers in death."

All very thought-provoking but the best part of the 1-800-autopsy website is the merchandising catalogue. There is your basic black 1-800-autopsy T-shirt bearing the company logo of a skull with the brain exposed.

"The femur bone pen is a 'bone-a-fide' replica of a human femur and you'll quickly discover that it's also a nifty writing instrument. The artery pen is so comfortable to hold and compares a healthy cholesterol-free artery alongside a diseased artery, showing the harmful effects of a high-fat diet.

The syringe pen is a standard retractable ballpoint pen shaped like a doctor's hypo filled with harmless red liquid. A bloody good gift for those with strong stomachs.

Other jolly items: a pencil sharpener in the shape of a human nose - stick pencil up nostril and twist; a two-headed skeletons; plastic hooks in the shape of human fingers; and the jelly mould from which "pops a life-size, anatomically correct brain." All available in attractive coffin-shaped gift boxes.