TOLL-FREE
NUMBER
Morbid Vanity
Generates Thousands of Calls
By Denise Duclaux
Ten years ago, Vidal
Herrera, living on disability after rupturing three discs by hoisting a
5-foot 2-inch, 285-pound dead woman, mailed more than 2,000 resumes but
received no job offers.
The La Crescenta,
CA, resident, who coordinates a network of more than 10 doctors and assists
them on autopsies requested by the deceased's relatives, is in such hot
demand thanks to his memorable vanity number, 1-800-AUTOPSY. He expects
to launch a catalog on Halloween, in response to the hundreds of requests
he gets for his business cards, which feature an autopsy scene and his
black surgical gowns touting his toll free number. The number will appear
also on coffee cups, pens, jackets, T-shirts and bags in the catalog.
In preparation for
its launch, Herrera will fax a sheet advising interested parties to call
the company number or visit its Web site (www.1800autopsy.com) to order
the catalog for $2. The promotion will hit medical schools, nursing schools,
ambulance companies, mortuaries and even chiropractic offices nationwide.
A portion of the proceeds will go toward nonprofit organizations that give
the hearing aids, eye glasses and prostheses owned by the deceased to the
needy.
Herrera intends to
sell franchises of his business within the next three months. He is aiming
for 54 locations in the United States and 16 in Japan, Europe, Canada and
Mexico.
Although Herrera,
who says the company's net profit last year was in the "low -six figures"
is enjoying the commercial fruits of his labor, he still holds close to
his heart the true meaning of his job. His company's motto is: "The deceased
must be protected and given a voice."
"Because hospitals
are downsizing and consolidating, you read in the paper everyday that the
quality of care is diminishing. You read about patients' rights, but one
thing you never consider is the right of patients who die," Herrera said.
"In 1978, 50 percent of people who died had an autopsy performed. Today,
it's just below five percent."
Herrera believes declining
autopsy rates are partly due to doctors' fears that autopsy results will
be used against them in malpractice suits. In addition, many hospitals
have been consolidating and downsizing in recent years and have eliminated
services, including autopsies, to cut costs. Finally, insurance companies
don't cover autopsy costs. While the average price for an autopsy is $3,700
in California, according to Herrera, Autopsy/Post Services performs an
autopsy for about $2,000.
He feels so passionate
about the importance of his profession that co-workers and neighbors have
nicknamed him "El Muerto," or the "The Dead One" in Spanish.
"Death is what sustains
me, because it is what allows, me to work," said Herrera. "And death is
what motivates me in terms of trying to get the message out about the positive
side of death like transplantable tissue, cadaver research and recyclable
items like hearing aids."
"I am a Latino, and
I am an American," Herrera said, "I was born here, but for the past 15
years there has been so much negative criticism, because there has been
a large influx of illegal aliens coming into this country. Everybody thinks
they are on welfare, are not productive and have a lot of babies. I just
want people to know that here is a Latino who is doing something productive.
In fact, here is a disabled Latino who is doing something productive."
Herrera currently
operates from a van equipped with a phone, beeper, modem, fax, laptop and
autopsy equipment, but he began his business from his East Los Angeles
home. Callers often hung up without so much as a "goodbye" upon discovering
the location of his office. Herrera then stumbled upon a magazine article
claiming that businesses located in or near the swank 90210 zip code were
profiting from the popularity of Fox-TV's hit show, "Beverly Hills 90210."
"I went to the post
office right across the street from the restaurant where Nicole Simpson
last had dinner and said, 'I need a PO Box,'" Herrera recalled. "The man
said, 'I'm sorry, sir, in this area we don't call them PO Boxes, we call
them Suites,' I said, 'Well, then I'll take a Suite.'"
Herrera noticed that
people often threw his business card into the trash almost before he was
out the door. So he designed cards that featured an antique Scottish painting
of doctors hard at work dissecting a corpse. The card quickly became a
novelty item among attorneys and doctors, but Herrera's plan to expand
his business was far from over.
After reading about
the success of vanity numbers in a financial magazine, Herrera dialed "0"
and asked the operator how one goes about purchasing a vanity number such
as 1-800 AUTOPSY, for instance. The operator referred him to MCI, where
a representative informed him that the number, 1-800-288-6779, belonged
to State Farm Insurance. The rep said the number had been out of circulation
for two years but could be Herrera's for $1 to $10,000 depending on how
active the number still was.
"Well, you have to
make money to spend money, so I thought I'd take a chance," Herrera said.
A few days later,
Herrera received a bill in the mail for just $2. He quickly got to work
transforming his lime-green van, which he had purchased at his neighbor's
yard sale for $100, into a moving billboard for his new number.
He painted the Honda
a plain white and neatly stenciled 1-800 AUTOPSY on its side. He also listed
a few of his services: private autopsy, exhumation, post-DNA paternity
analysis, and television and movie consultant.
"I noticed all these
cards - mobile pet groomers, personal trainers, cleaners, notary publics.
And on TV they had 1-800-LAWYERS, 1-800-DOCTORS an d1-800-FLOWERS," Herrera
said, "I kept thinking that I should advertise, but because this is such
a serious subject matter I thought people would be offended. Then I said,
'Hey, why not? If you don't try, you are not going to learn.'"
Thirty minutes after
Herrera painted his van his phone started ringing. Herrera got a case from
relatives seeking their loved one's cause of death, then he got another
and yet another.
Herrera, who received
1,100 calls in response to a television story about his business, will
soon be hiring an answering service to handle the autopsy requests and
press interviews currently fielded by him and his wife. |